Part 4 of a series called The Heart of Recovery.
In my 3 previous posts I explored the role we play when we have an ADULT addict in our family circle.
Using the word HEART as an acrostic I began with “H”.
Today I will discuss R – Recovery.
RECOVERY is needed for all.
Not only does the addict need to be in a recovery program, but those of us around the addict need to work on our own recovery.
This post is for parents, spouses, siblings, friends, etc. of an addict. Those surrounding them frequently suffer spiritual and emotional damage from watching a loved one destroy their life.
BUT…We too may have issues we need to resolve.
For many, renewing their relationship with The Lord is the first step toward healing.
Some are filled with great anger and disappointment, to the point it feels like life has seemed to stop.
Recovery programs for addicts instruct clients to make a list of emergency contacts; people they can reach out to when they have an urge to use…a sponsor(s).
Those who are wounded by the fallout from the addict’s destructive behavior also need to have a list of emergency contacts…prayer partners, counselors… people to reach out to when the feelings of anger become all consuming or when the grief is overwhelming and the emotional suffering over the loved one’s addiction is almost impossible to bear.
Even if the addict is in recovery…friends and family are not instantaneously healed from the trauma they’ve endured and are in need of their own support system.
Remember healing is a slow process.
It has been said by some that living with an addict in one’s life is like attending a funeral every day.
That’s because they are mourning the death of the dreams and aspirations they had for that person or relationship.
Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross described the five stages of grief people go through following a serious loss: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
If you are bargaining with God and it appears He is not listening, it is easy to slip back into anger…at the church, family, the addict and especially at God.
Prayer can become harder.
Exodus 17: 8-14 tells us that Moses lifted up his hands holding the staff of God as the Israelites fought the Amalekites. As long as his hands were lifted up, the Israelites won the battle. When he tired, his hands lowered and the Israelites would begin to lose. Aaron and Hur, his brother and best friend, slid a rock under him to give him support. Resting on the rock, he was able to lift his hands again. Soon he tired once more and his hands began to drift downward. His brother and best friend held his hands, one on one side, one on the other, so that his hands remained steady until sunset. Thus the Israelites overcame the Amalekites.
Like Moses, your hands may become weakened and you may find it difficult to hold them up in prayer. The years can take a toll.
Allow others, family and friends to walk beside you, pray for you and hold you up in prayer.
Although you faith rests on the Rock, Christ, you need others to intercede for you and carry you when you can no longer take a step forward.
They can help you to begin to recover from the emotional and spiritual wounds you’ve experienced.
Celebrate Recovery is a great place for family members to find healing. If one group does not seem to meet your needs try another.
You may not only learn how to deal with your loved one’s addiction, but develop a closer relationship with Christ.
- Make your list of your emergency contacts.
- Allow others to lift you up in prayer.
- Get counseling…with a group or individual godly counsel.
- Realize God is walking beside you, rest in His peace.
I have said…
HOLD onto your addiction to their addiction no more.
ENABLE no more….
ADMIT / ACCEPT they are an addict.
RECOVERY is needed for all.
The next step is to…
TRACE or MAP out a plan…my topic for my next post.
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LIFE IS A JOY…PASS IT ON!
Susan Werthem is a Bible study leader, speaker and author.
She takes the Word of God and shares His truth in a humorous, unique and insightful way.
To contact Susan to plan a retreat or seminar Click here.